 |  |  |  |
| I Hacked Fifty Cent's PDA! |
Okay, so how bad ass am I? Using my superior computer hacking skills and no small amount
of moxie, I managed to hack into 50 Cent’s PDA and obtain a copy of his to-do list. Here it is,
in all it’s glory. If you’ve ever wanted to know what 50 does when he’s not eating babies, here’
s your chance to find out.
May 22, 2005:
9:45 a.m. Wake up. Get change for a dollar.
9:50 a.m. Re-apply fake bullet wound scars.
10:00 a.m. Breakfast (Frankenberry if there’s any left! Otherwise, Honeycomb).
10:30 a.m. Try to finish Picasso biography. C-c-c-cubism!
10:45 a.m. Shower. Have Young Buck do daily mole check.
11:15 a.m. Find new words that rhyme with “cent” (hmmm…bent? Vent? Ooh, tent! “I’ll take
you to the Camping Shop.” I smell a Grammy! Hi grandma!).
11:30 a.m. Send bodyguard to store for more “creatine.”
11:31 a.m. Practice pole-dancing for next video.
12:05 p.m. Go to free clinic and have “magic stick” checked out (mucousy ooze = bad? Ask
doctor).
12:45 p.m. Put rap game in choke hold.
1:00 p.m. Lunch.
1:25 p.m. Post Tony Yayo’s bail. Again.
2:30 p.m. Build fort out of blankets and pillows. Order gold-plated “No Girls Allowed” sign.
3:45 p.m. Pilates.
5:00 p.m. Catch up on Michael Jackson trial. Learn from his mistakes.
7:30 p.m. Attend homeowner’s association meeting. Complain about Mr. Sturgis’ hedges (3/4
inch over property line).
8:30 p.m. Design new line of G-Unit greeting cards (ex. “Go Shorty, It’s YOUR Birfday!”).
8:50 p.m. Eat pumpkin pie out of season.
9:00 p.m. Watch “Desperate Housewives” (that James Denton is such a hunk! God, I hope
my pipes burst!).
10:00 p.m. Call the Game in LA and ruin the episode for him.
10:30 p.m. Make tomorrow’s to-do list.
10:50 p.m. Cry myself to sleep.
of moxie, I managed to hack into 50 Cent’s PDA and obtain a copy of his to-do list. Here it is,
in all it’s glory. If you’ve ever wanted to know what 50 does when he’s not eating babies, here’
s your chance to find out.
May 22, 2005:
9:45 a.m. Wake up. Get change for a dollar.
9:50 a.m. Re-apply fake bullet wound scars.
10:00 a.m. Breakfast (Frankenberry if there’s any left! Otherwise, Honeycomb).
10:30 a.m. Try to finish Picasso biography. C-c-c-cubism!
10:45 a.m. Shower. Have Young Buck do daily mole check.
11:15 a.m. Find new words that rhyme with “cent” (hmmm…bent? Vent? Ooh, tent! “I’ll take
you to the Camping Shop.” I smell a Grammy! Hi grandma!).
11:30 a.m. Send bodyguard to store for more “creatine.”
11:31 a.m. Practice pole-dancing for next video.
12:05 p.m. Go to free clinic and have “magic stick” checked out (mucousy ooze = bad? Ask
doctor).
12:45 p.m. Put rap game in choke hold.
1:00 p.m. Lunch.
1:25 p.m. Post Tony Yayo’s bail. Again.
2:30 p.m. Build fort out of blankets and pillows. Order gold-plated “No Girls Allowed” sign.
3:45 p.m. Pilates.
5:00 p.m. Catch up on Michael Jackson trial. Learn from his mistakes.
7:30 p.m. Attend homeowner’s association meeting. Complain about Mr. Sturgis’ hedges (3/4
inch over property line).
8:30 p.m. Design new line of G-Unit greeting cards (ex. “Go Shorty, It’s YOUR Birfday!”).
8:50 p.m. Eat pumpkin pie out of season.
9:00 p.m. Watch “Desperate Housewives” (that James Denton is such a hunk! God, I hope
my pipes burst!).
10:00 p.m. Call the Game in LA and ruin the episode for him.
10:30 p.m. Make tomorrow’s to-do list.
10:50 p.m. Cry myself to sleep.
Comments? Email me, Jimi Changa, at Admin@SurlyTaco.com
Feel slightly aroused? Then head back to Salsa