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| The Truth About MSG |
I’m not a nutritionist, chemist, or Chinese restaurant employee, so I’ve never had more than a
vague notion of what MSG actually is. I’ve always understood it to be a food additive that isn’t
terribly good for you. Turns out I was dead wrong.
It was a chilly Wednesday in March, and everyone in the office was suffering extensively from
post-lunch fatigue syndrome. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. I should have known
something was up.
My coworker Cathy, who can best be described as delightfully psychotic, made a comment in
passing about how she didn’t feel well. I think Webster used to dream about being a doctor
because whenever anyone said anything about not feeling well, she got right up in there to
give her diagnosis. That day was no exception. She quickly attributed Cathy’s feeling sick to
the high MSG content in the Healthy Choice frozen meal she’d had for lunch.
Like I said before, I’m no nutritionist. But I’m pretty damn sure MSG isn’t good for you, and
probably wouldn’t be found in a Healthy Choice frozen dinner (although I’d wager it would be
found in one of those big-ass Hungry Man ones). Since I didn’t have any hard facts to back up
the sinking feeling in my gut, I let it slide. But the IT guy didn’t.
The IT guy happened to be up in the office, and just happened to overhear Webster’s
comment. Not having been around her very much, the kid had no idea what he was getting
himself into. He told her he highly doubted Healthy Choice frozen dinners contained MSG.
She told him they did. He said hey, let’s go down to the kitchen, pull the box out of the trash,
and find out for sure. She started yelling at him about how he shouldn’t question her. He
ignored her and made a break for the kitchen.
I followed the IT guy, since he’d been nice enough to confirm my suspicions. We pulled the
Healthy Choice box out of the garbage. One corner was slightly coffee-soaked, but otherwise
it wasn’t too disgusting. After a careful examination of the label, we came to the conclusion
that there was, in fact, no MSG present in a Healthy Choice frozen meal.
The IT guy started rushing back to the office, but I grabbed him by the arm and said, “Bet you
five bucks when you call her out she’ll say something like ‘MSG’s a secret ingredient that’s not
listed on the label.’” He just shook his head at me. He didn’t think there’d be any way she’d
stand by her ridiculous story when faced with irrefutable proof. I knew better.
Back in the office, the IT guy confronted Webster with the evidence. She called him childish,
and then said companies don’t list all the ingredients in a product on the nutritional label. She
said you had to have a special book that tells you what’s in everything to truly know whether or
not any given food had MSG in it. Of course, she had the book but didn’t want to bring it in.
Then she started telling us how Cathy might not be feeling bad because of MSG, but possibly
because the frozen meal had gone bad. I calmly pointed out the expiration date on the box,
which had yet to pass. Dumb move. Apparently, supermarkets “re-stamp” expiration dates on
unsold products and put them back on the shelf.
At this point in the conversation, I started getting a vicious pain in the back of my head that I
interpreted to be my brain attempting to commit suicide by eating itself. I excused myself from
the room. Before the door slammed shut, I heard one last nugget of wisdom: “You know MSG
is the same stuff farmers use to floralize they crops.” The IT guy ran out screaming behind me.
Comments? Email me at Admin@SurlyTaco.com
Back to Salsa
vague notion of what MSG actually is. I’ve always understood it to be a food additive that isn’t
terribly good for you. Turns out I was dead wrong.
It was a chilly Wednesday in March, and everyone in the office was suffering extensively from
post-lunch fatigue syndrome. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. I should have known
something was up.
My coworker Cathy, who can best be described as delightfully psychotic, made a comment in
passing about how she didn’t feel well. I think Webster used to dream about being a doctor
because whenever anyone said anything about not feeling well, she got right up in there to
give her diagnosis. That day was no exception. She quickly attributed Cathy’s feeling sick to
the high MSG content in the Healthy Choice frozen meal she’d had for lunch.
Like I said before, I’m no nutritionist. But I’m pretty damn sure MSG isn’t good for you, and
probably wouldn’t be found in a Healthy Choice frozen dinner (although I’d wager it would be
found in one of those big-ass Hungry Man ones). Since I didn’t have any hard facts to back up
the sinking feeling in my gut, I let it slide. But the IT guy didn’t.
The IT guy happened to be up in the office, and just happened to overhear Webster’s
comment. Not having been around her very much, the kid had no idea what he was getting
himself into. He told her he highly doubted Healthy Choice frozen dinners contained MSG.
She told him they did. He said hey, let’s go down to the kitchen, pull the box out of the trash,
and find out for sure. She started yelling at him about how he shouldn’t question her. He
ignored her and made a break for the kitchen.
I followed the IT guy, since he’d been nice enough to confirm my suspicions. We pulled the
Healthy Choice box out of the garbage. One corner was slightly coffee-soaked, but otherwise
it wasn’t too disgusting. After a careful examination of the label, we came to the conclusion
that there was, in fact, no MSG present in a Healthy Choice frozen meal.
The IT guy started rushing back to the office, but I grabbed him by the arm and said, “Bet you
five bucks when you call her out she’ll say something like ‘MSG’s a secret ingredient that’s not
listed on the label.’” He just shook his head at me. He didn’t think there’d be any way she’d
stand by her ridiculous story when faced with irrefutable proof. I knew better.
Back in the office, the IT guy confronted Webster with the evidence. She called him childish,
and then said companies don’t list all the ingredients in a product on the nutritional label. She
said you had to have a special book that tells you what’s in everything to truly know whether or
not any given food had MSG in it. Of course, she had the book but didn’t want to bring it in.
Then she started telling us how Cathy might not be feeling bad because of MSG, but possibly
because the frozen meal had gone bad. I calmly pointed out the expiration date on the box,
which had yet to pass. Dumb move. Apparently, supermarkets “re-stamp” expiration dates on
unsold products and put them back on the shelf.
At this point in the conversation, I started getting a vicious pain in the back of my head that I
interpreted to be my brain attempting to commit suicide by eating itself. I excused myself from
the room. Before the door slammed shut, I heard one last nugget of wisdom: “You know MSG
is the same stuff farmers use to floralize they crops.” The IT guy ran out screaming behind me.
Comments? Email me at Admin@SurlyTaco.com
Back to Salsa