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| Things You Didn't Know About Wachovia |
The other day, I was just sitting around the office, minding my own business and trying to not
turn gay by looking at Shamu for too long, when a major bout of stupidity broke out. Shamu
made the mistake of saying something, and of course Webster had to jump in and disagree.
Some days, no matter what anyone said, Webster would feel the need to start a controversy. I
could say that beating children with bags of cement was wrong, and she’d disagree for at least
an hour. The tricky thing was, she’d talk her way around the subject until she was in fact
agreeing with what I had originally said, but now somehow I was wrong. On days like that I
prayed for an aneurysm.
At any rate, Shamu happened to mention in passing that she had made a cash deposit at the
ATM at Wachovia the night before. Webster immediately jumped up and said, “You can’t do
that! You cannot make a cash deposit at the ATM!”
Shamu responded by saying she had just done it the night before. Webster wouldn’t believe
her. She kept repeating over and over, “No, you can’t do that, it says right there on the ATM,
‘No Cash Deposit’.” And every time Shamu insisted she had just done it, Webster got louder.
I was torn. I really wanted to put my headphones back on and turn the volume up, but I didn’t
want to miss any stupid comments Webster might make. Ultimately I decided to leave the
headphones off, and I was glad I did.
After the argument had gone on for awhile, with both parties refusing to budge, Cathy decided
to step in and do the logical thing. She suggested that they call Wachovia and find out.
Shamu found the main number and Cathy dialed customer service. Not surprisingly, the very
helpful customer service representative informed her that one could make a cash deposit at
any Wachovia ATM. Shamu nodded happily. Victory was within her tubby grasp.
Most people, at this point, would realize they’d be beaten and admit defeat. But if you’ve
learned anything from my little anecdotes, Webster is not most people. She screamed “No!”
and burst out of her seat, headed right for the phone. While she dialed she told us the
customer service woman must have been wrong. Apparently every time you call a major
corporation’s customer service hotline, they give you a different answer.
I made the mistake of saying that there’s reasons why companies have policies, but luckily her
call connected before she could say something to me. She popped the question, then started
nodding and looking smug. Cathy suggested she put the woman on speaker phone. Webster
spun around and slammed the receiver back down on the hook, saying the woman had already
hung up.
Of course, her suspicions had been confirmed: Wachovia, in fact, does not take cash
deposits. The first woman had lied to all of us (clue for the clueless: Webster was lying out of
her ass). Cathy helpfully suggested that we call Wachovia back, on speaker phone, ask to talk
to the supervisor and get a definite answer.
But unlike lying your way into a corner and then lying some more, that would be “childish.”
Comments? Email me at Admin@SurlyTaco.com
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turn gay by looking at Shamu for too long, when a major bout of stupidity broke out. Shamu
made the mistake of saying something, and of course Webster had to jump in and disagree.
Some days, no matter what anyone said, Webster would feel the need to start a controversy. I
could say that beating children with bags of cement was wrong, and she’d disagree for at least
an hour. The tricky thing was, she’d talk her way around the subject until she was in fact
agreeing with what I had originally said, but now somehow I was wrong. On days like that I
prayed for an aneurysm.
At any rate, Shamu happened to mention in passing that she had made a cash deposit at the
ATM at Wachovia the night before. Webster immediately jumped up and said, “You can’t do
that! You cannot make a cash deposit at the ATM!”
Shamu responded by saying she had just done it the night before. Webster wouldn’t believe
her. She kept repeating over and over, “No, you can’t do that, it says right there on the ATM,
‘No Cash Deposit’.” And every time Shamu insisted she had just done it, Webster got louder.
I was torn. I really wanted to put my headphones back on and turn the volume up, but I didn’t
want to miss any stupid comments Webster might make. Ultimately I decided to leave the
headphones off, and I was glad I did.
After the argument had gone on for awhile, with both parties refusing to budge, Cathy decided
to step in and do the logical thing. She suggested that they call Wachovia and find out.
Shamu found the main number and Cathy dialed customer service. Not surprisingly, the very
helpful customer service representative informed her that one could make a cash deposit at
any Wachovia ATM. Shamu nodded happily. Victory was within her tubby grasp.
Most people, at this point, would realize they’d be beaten and admit defeat. But if you’ve
learned anything from my little anecdotes, Webster is not most people. She screamed “No!”
and burst out of her seat, headed right for the phone. While she dialed she told us the
customer service woman must have been wrong. Apparently every time you call a major
corporation’s customer service hotline, they give you a different answer.
I made the mistake of saying that there’s reasons why companies have policies, but luckily her
call connected before she could say something to me. She popped the question, then started
nodding and looking smug. Cathy suggested she put the woman on speaker phone. Webster
spun around and slammed the receiver back down on the hook, saying the woman had already
hung up.
Of course, her suspicions had been confirmed: Wachovia, in fact, does not take cash
deposits. The first woman had lied to all of us (clue for the clueless: Webster was lying out of
her ass). Cathy helpfully suggested that we call Wachovia back, on speaker phone, ask to talk
to the supervisor and get a definite answer.
But unlike lying your way into a corner and then lying some more, that would be “childish.”
Comments? Email me at Admin@SurlyTaco.com
Back to Salsa